Carolyn hax dating advice
While we never even flirted while we were all married, we always got along. She is furious and accused us of having an affair because we started seeing each other while they were separated. She is calling all their friends and calling him a cheater and me a hussy. And she's the one using her current misery, apparently, as an excuse to behave miserably toward you for a second time this decade. She also -- ironically and unwittingly I'm sure -- gives you and her ex more reason to feel joy and relief in your future by shedding new darkness on the past. I feel horrible, but she and I have not been in contact for several years. Just don't get carried away with the possibilities this affords, since they're still joined by their kids. I recommend not even comparing the way your dad is with other women to the dad you knew with mom.You’ll see a different version of him for sure, subtly or otherwise, because different people bring out different elements in all of us — just ask him how he’s seen you transform under the influence of various loves you’ve brought home. It’s also a way to know your dad better, if you open your mind to it. Don’t resist the hard feelings but don’t hang on to them, either, or wait for someone else to take them away. If you can apply any relief that gives you toward being patient with your dad, then you’ll ease his mind as well.She particularly shunned me after their argument, which had nothing to do with me or her. Fast forward to when I was divorced for one year and they were separated and in divorce proceedings. So I got a midday "joking" email about how no one wished him a happy birthday. Again In the time you spent writing this question, you could have set yourself five "dad's birthday" reminders on as many different e-platforms.
Suggested framework: You can’t control what other people do, say, lie about, drink, or with whom. So, what change will it take — in you — to be mindful of, yet not owned by, such risk?
But it doesn’t ruin people, it ruins relationships.
This last sentence should get an asterisk, yes; you carried trust issues from past relationships into this one.
Remember, too, your mom’s relationship to your dad was separate from hers with you.
Your dad’s loss was very different from yours, and so his path after it will be as well.
But I have anxiety and the thought of spending a couple of hours with someone I don’t know is enough to give me the sweats.