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Posted by / 02-Nov-2017 11:00

I'd taken a break from dating after a quick but hot liaison with a punk I'd met at a Damned concert petered out, but I wanted to, you know, put the vibes out there into the universe.

As I waded through Ok Cupid's endless questions and block of text, I imagined the countless men of New York City setting their age filters to 35 or, gasp, 39, and I wondered if it was true that anyone who didn't accept me as I am isn't worth knowing.

with anticipation; who encourage me to be a bit of a mush about Valentine's Day and , much to my surprise; who don't blink twice at comparing natal astrology charts; who inspire me to take classes and write more and wear red lipstick because it looks good on me.

Some are delightful surprises because sometimes it's about being at the right place at the right time when you're the right age.

I had time, and if someone wanted to get up in my grill about having kids eventually, well, my mom had me when she was 38 and I turned out mostly okay. Summers, who is 54, is firmly in favor of skimming a few years off one's age, though always coming correct with current photos.

In the context of dating, those ages felt a lot less damning than 40; they felt a lot more viable. As ambivalent as I am about having my own children, there's something haunting about that scene from where Marisa Tomei stomps her foot about her biological clock ticking.

"I'd call it a slow attrition of diminishing returns," Chelsea said about dating in NYC.

"I feel as if I make out with a guy and tell a guy I'd like to enjoy sexual congress, he should be stoked.

How dare they reject me before I could reject them! Whether they were the ancient ads I helped beta test as an intern or the old standby OKCupid, I'd invest time and energy into meeting men I wouldn't otherwise come across in my day-to-day life (read: freelancing at home, usually pantless).

Eventually, I'd get fed up with the banality of it all, hide my profile or delete the app.

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Not so much even that I was single, but that I and what that implied. There are plenty of things I simply do not give a single solitary fuck about when it comes to what women my age are supposed to be doing. Just as there are movies on Netflix you might never stumble across in your bleary-eyed scrolling, there are plenty of people you might never see through some whim of programming code.

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