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I came along, read her profile and out of everything she mentioned, I decided to pick on that and use it as “ammo”to start a conversation. Much to her surprise, it was a comment in favour of something she wrote on her profile which caught my eye—rather than putting it in the message box, I put it in the title to grab her attention, and up till this day, I have kept it.
It wasn’t the most interesting thing on her profile—that’d be quite sad. You may have similar interested, a compatible personality—you could be everything they are looking for, however even that may not be enough for some people.
Rather than saying Long story short, she was receiving a lot of messages from men who expressed their disdain at her choice for wanting to identify as a feminist.
It got to the point that she had to state explicitly on her profile: The messages never stopped. She seemed compelled to find out what vitriol I had spouted.
Everyone jumps the gun, telling you to personalize each message you send.
But what if you don’t have any chances or opportunities in your day to day life?We men love to complain about how women have extraordinarily high standards when looking for a mate—however, we fail to look a little bit deeper at why this is the case.While women may get an ego boost when they receive 30-100 messages in any given week, nobody really wishes to have that much admin to sift through.Work and home responsibilities suck a lot of time out of the day and if you’re not meeting the kinds of people you’d like to in your area, then it may be your only option for meeting likeminded people.If you’ve had many negative experiences which have left you lonely and isolated, the responses you receive online (or lack of), may push you further into a negative vicious cycle.
And when 80% of the messages are either, you can’t really blame them for not responding to most messages—even if you personalize your mails.